


buoyed by your strength

by BridgetMcKennitt



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Jedi Training, Qui-Gon Lives, Relationship Advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-16 13:58:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11254377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BridgetMcKennitt/pseuds/BridgetMcKennitt
Summary: Anakin was the Chosen One, but it was his master Qui-Gon who had the strength needed to keep him on the side of good.





	buoyed by your strength

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alley_Skywalker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alley_Skywalker/gifts).



Anakin hooked his leg over the thick tree branch and pulled himself up until he was sprawled on top of it. He took in deep breaths as he laid on his back and stared up at the canopied sky.

He was hundreds of meters above the ground and was nowhere near the top. Qui-Gon had taken him to this planet filled with massive trees for an endurance training exercise. Anakin wondered if Qui-Gon was messing with him because he had complained about sand during their previous assignment. This planet was definitely different from Tatootine as could possibly be and Anakin was okay with that. 

After a few minutes to catch his breath, Anakin slowly got to his feet. Qui-Gon had instructed him to climb to the top of this tree where he'd be waiting for him. He was allowed to use his Force powers, which Anakin was thankful for because he suspected it'd be impossible otherwise without the Force. But there was plenty of need for his physical strength and using both was wearing him out faster than he expected.

He also suspected there was an easier way to climb to the top, especially if he was meeting Qui-Gon up there, but Anakin doubted that his master would reveal those secrets today.

Anakin stared up at the massive tree trunk and placed his hands on the strange fungus that grew all over the trunk. The fungus was strong and stable enough to hold him as he climbed. As he placed his foot on a fungus, the scent of something beautiful and almost familiar caught his attention. An image of Padme floated in his mind.

It'd been years since he'd last seen Padme, but there were bits and pieces that he remembered about her from the time they had spent together. Like the perfume she wore. It had filled his nose whenever he was in Padme's presence and the scent of it comforted him.

Padme was also a secret that he kept to himself, even from Qui-Gon. Whenever he could, he looked for news about Padme's rise through the Galactic Senate. The holograms weren't the best visual quality, but even on a grainy hologram, Padme was breathtakingly beautiful. Childhood memories didn't lie about that.

Anakin shook his head to clear his thoughts. Now was not the time to daydream when the dangers of falling or getting attacked by the large tree-dwelling creatures required his immediate focus.

It took over an hour, but Anakin finally made it to the top where Qui-Gon was waiting for him. There was an approving smile on Qui-Gon's face and Anakin felt a burst of satisfaction for passing his endurance exercise.

"Very good, Anakin. As Jedi, we use more than our physical strength or use the Force to battle our foes. Sometimes our battles may last for days, so you must be prepared."

"I am. I will be." He thanked Qui-Gon when Qui-Gon tossed him a canteen filled with water. "I'm ready for anything you throw at me."

Qui-Gon sat down next to Anakin as they looked out at the green, endless forest. "Ah, but what if what's thrown at you comes from within? That's even more difficult than fighting outward battles."

 _Did_ Qui-Gon know about Padme? Anakin finished off the canteen and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. It wasn't like Qui-Gon would scold him or make him feel shameful about his feelings. Qui-Gon was not like the other Jedi Masters sitting high up on Coruscant. Maybe he'd understand and could help Anakin sort through his feelings. Anakin wanted to be a Jedi more than anything, but Padme haunted his thoughts no matter what he did or how many times he meditated.

Anakin decided to try and broach the subject with Qui-Gon. "What kind of battles have you faced that came from within?"

"Ah, well. I may not have lived as long as Master Yoda, but the heart and mind are fickle creatures, no matter how many years of training you've had as a Jedi." Qui-Gon chuckled as he glanced at Anakin. "I've always been somewhat of a rebel when it comes to certain Jedi doctrine. I still am. I believe in the Jedi Order and what we've accomplished over the last thousand years. But there are some things that don't need to be so rigid."

Anakin wondered what Qui-Gon was referring to exactly, but it was nice to know that there was someone else who felt the same way as he did. Since Qui-Gon was able to thrive in the Order, how was his master able to do it so he could perhaps follow his path?

"Master," he began. "I have a confession to make."

"I assumed that's been the case. You've seemed like you've been burdened with your thoughts lately. Is it about your training?"

Anakin shook his head. "Not really. It's about Padme."

Qui-Gon raised his eyebrow. "The former Queen Amidala, now the current senator from Naboo? I saw her for lunch a few months ago. She's been doing well."

Anakin hadn't known that Qui-Gon had met up with Padme for lunch. If he had, he would have tried to sit in and bask in Padme's presence. He nodded as he stared out into the distance. "That's good."

"What about her? I've been keeping tabs on her since she become a senator. Just because the Trade Federation is no longer a threat to her doesn't mean that she's not in danger." Anakin's eyes widened and he felt his heart pounding at the thought of Padme in danger once more. Qui-Gon must have caught the expression on his face before he shook his head before placing a calming hand on Anakin's shoulder. "She's safe. Though I suppose I know what exactly about Padme is weighing on your mind."

Anakin dropped his head. "Master, I only knew her for a short while before I became your apprentice, but she's remained on my mind since then. I know Jedi aren't supposed to form attachments, but I can't stop thinking about her."

"Young love." Qui-Gon squeezed Anakin's shoulder in a reassuring manner. "I'm glad we're talking about this, Anakin, especially at this point in your life."

"Good because I don't know what to do." Anakin let out a shuttering breath. "Sometimes, when I think about her, it's the only thing I can focus on. I feel like I've failed the Jedi Order with my feelings for Padme."

"Never think that. You are a good person, Anakin, and I believe in you. You are not a failure."

"But what can I do? I can't ever be with her."

Qui-Gon chuckled and, for a moment, Anakin thought he was getting laughed at. But when he looked at Qui-Gon, he didn't see any meanness in his face. "Anakin, the last time you saw her in person was almost ten years ago and I'm certain you haven't talked to her since then either. A relationship cannot form out of nothing and it cannot be forced. You don't know how she feels about you at all."

Anakin nodded. He could see the truth in Qui-Gon's words. "But the Jedi Council would never allow us to be together, even if she liked me as I like her. We are not allowed to form attachments."

"Baby steps, Anakin. It's all about baby steps. Yes, there is that rule, but life is about attachments. We are attached to serving justice and life as Jedi. The harm comes when we place a singular life above all others. Padme is a Galactic Senator who was once the queen of her planet. From what I know about the woman, she doesn't believe in placing a singular life above all others either." Qui-Gon got to his feet and Anakin followed, standing up. "This is a delicate situation."

"Yes." He didn't want to go up against the Jedi Council, but it sounded like his master was on his side. He hoped. 

"I think you should meet Padme again, this time as a Jedi apprentice and her a senator. She may still see you as a child, but don't let that anger you. Her life is vastly different from yours, so you'll need to know if you can fit into her life and be her friend."

Anakin blinked. Friend? He didn't want to be Padme's friend and he said so to Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon raised his eyebrow at him. "Unless you want to manipulate her thoughts using the Force, that is how you must proceed. Think of this as another training exercise. Even Jedi have to interact with people."

He could do that. Growing up on Tatootine and as a Jedi didn't give him a lot of opportunities for indepth interaction with other people, but for Padme, he could do it. "But what about the Jedi Council?"

"Ah, but that's the easy part. Padme may not want a relationship with you, or Jedi in general, because she's a busy woman who has her own rules to follow as a senator." Qui-Gon let out a deep breath. "But you are my apprentice and I believe you are the Chosen One. Perhaps this is the right path for you. I'll support you, but we'll do this slow and my way." Qui-Gon held out his hand towards Anakin. "Do we have a deal?"

Anakin stared down at Qui-Gon's hand. His hand promised hope and a dream that Anakin had dared not believed could exist for him. Maybe Padme wouldn't like him now that he was a man, but he had to try and Qui-Gon was willing to help him. Anakin took Qui-Gon's hand and shook it.

"Deal."


End file.
